id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
