Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
