I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
