We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Randomize