I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
