did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
