She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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