am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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