Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
