did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We left an ass print on the piano.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
