you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It's just like the Real World with babies
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
