And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
