i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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