So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
