the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
