I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
