PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
