why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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