so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
