I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
