haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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