I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
