Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
