I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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