Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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