He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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