Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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