he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
