So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
