Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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