I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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