I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
