I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
