Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he was CRYING into my vagina
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
