Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
