Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
