i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
