I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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