Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
