Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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