Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
