we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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