New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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