He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
