my mouth tastes like poor choices
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you had me at cake vodka
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
