they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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