Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
