he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
