I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just google imaged poop.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
