My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
