I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize