Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
