Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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